age quod agis! ;)
just ordinary girl with extraordinary God :)
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Sure, I’m (not) okay !
I just wondering why people can lie her/ himself by saying there was nothing happened, that she/ he happy and okay, but deep inside she/ he is not okay. Maybe i am a people who can express my own feelings easily. Oke, sometimes we must ‘hide’ ourselves appropriately, depends on situation and where we are. but i just can’t understand why there is someone (or some people) pretend to be great, to be a perfect one. Are he/ she feel ashamed if his/ her weak side is seen by others? Oke oke, all people don’t want to show his/ her lack to others. But pretend to be perfect? I thinks that’s too much. Oh, when I think about this, my “pop out” think remember about coping stress. Maybe this is a form of coping stress. So I find strategy of coping and tarararaaam! I found a term that answer my quest about this problem: DEFENDING BEHAVIORS.
Gershen Kaufman, one of the first psychologists to study and write about shame in the 1980’s,states:
To feel shame is to feel seen in a painfully diminished sense. Whether all eyes are upon me or only my own, I feel deficient in some vital way as a human being. And in the midst of shame, an urgent need to escape or hide may come upon us.
Whenever a person’s sense of dignity has been violated, the need to protect the self from further harm becomes essential. Kaufman and other psychologists go on to describe the common behaviors that people resort to in order to cope with shame. These include hiding, isolation and rage. To avoid further exposure, people will begin to protect themselves by creating a variety of personas or masks.
Ha! defending behaviors, are you?
* cited from Coping and Defending Behaviors by Leslie Shelton, Ph.D. (http://www.learningandviolence.net/violence/shame/shelton4.pdf)
** pict from http://www.flickr.com/photos/hez_photography/2746389145/
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Life without Allah’s love is like a new pencil that has not been sharpened: it has no point. Learn to love Allah ♥
I was and still trying to reach You, Allah :’)
(Source: islamthereligionofpeace)
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If You Were by Charles Ghigna
If you were a shining star
And I were your midnight,
I’d let you shine above me,
You’d be my only light.
If you were a scoop of ice cream
And I were an ice cream cone,
I’d put you on my shoulders
And hold you for my own.
If you were a grand piano
And I were a sweet love song,
I’d let your keys tickle and tease
My melody all day long.
If you were the pages of my book
And I were reading you,
I’d read as slow as I could go
So I never would get through.
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This, remind me of you
When I need you
I just close my eyes and I’m with you
And all that I so want to give you
It’s only a heart beat away
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
Miles and miles of empty space in between us
A telephone can’t take the place of your smile
But you know I wont be traveling forever
It’s cold out, but hold out and do like I do
When I need you
Just close my eyes and I’m with you
And all that I so want to give you, baby
It’s only a heartbeat away
It’s not easy when the road is your driver
Honey, that’s a heavy load that we bear
But you know I won’t be traveling a lifetime
It’s cold out but hold out and do like I do
Oh
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew, Oh, I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
Oh, When I need you
Just close my eyes and I’m with you
And all that I so want to give you
It’s only a heart beat away
thank you, for coming into life, even just for a moment :)
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3 tahun
Hei kamu yang sudah 3 tahun ini bertahan
Kamu yang selama 3 tahun ini rutin aku kunjungi profil FB-nya dan selalu aku baca timeline-nya untuk sekedar ingin tahu sedang apa kamu, bagaimana kondisi kamu
*will you stalk me the way I stalk you? :p
Kamu yang selama 3 tahun ini menjadi tokoh utama dari cerita-ceritaku, sampai (mungkin) sahabat-sahabatku bosan mendengarnya
*sorry girls, but unfortunately, I only have him to be talked about enthusiastly and passionately :p
Malam ini entah kenapa aku ingin nulis tentang kamu
Mungkin ini ekspresi burn out-ku karena meskipun sudah tiga tahun, kamu tetap diam tak bergeming bahkan cenderung tak acuh
Kondisi, kedudukanku dan kedudukanmu tak memberi kesempatan bagi kita untuk berinteraksi banyak
*btw, aku selalu iri pada mereka yg sering ngobrol sama kamu. Maaf ya. Habis, sekalinya kita ngobrol, tak lama waktu yg dihabiskan bahkan terkadang ga nyambung.hahaha. selera humor kita, sayangnya, berbeda :)
Aku mengerti, sangat mengerti kenapa kamu seperti ini. Kamu, untuk urusan ini, lebih dewasa daripada aku. Kamu tidak labil dan impulsive seperti aku. Bukankah kamu sendiri yang bilang, untuk urusan yang satu ini kamu akan bergerak pada saat yang tepat?
Aku sendiri heran, mengapa selama ini kamu bisa bertahan
Mengapa aku selama ini hanya terpaku pada kamu. Hanya kamu.
Beberapa orang sebenarnya lebih menyenangkan daripada kamu, tapi toh harapan itu selalu kamu yang mengisinya.
Beberapa waktu yang lalu bahkan aku memutuskan untuk menjaga jarak dan (tentunya) me-repress semuanya.
Saat itu bahkan aku enggan melihat avatar twitter mu di TL, update tentang kamu di FB dan semua tentang kamu, yang tadinya selalu aku ikuti perkembangannya, aku hindari.
Bukan karena benci, aku hanya takut mengingat dan merasakan kembali
Aku tak mau jatuh dan sakit berkepanjangan suatu hari nanti
Ya, seserius itulah aku menyukai kamu
Aku berdoa,agar aku dijauhkan dari kamu jika memang bukan kamu orangnya
Dan meminta padaNya untuk didekatkan denganmu pada saat yang tepat jika memang kamulah orangnya.
Tapi ada satu hari yang membuyarkan semuanya, mengacaukan usahaku untuk menata perasaanku.
Ada ikatan yang membuat jarak kita mendekat, di saat aku justru ingin lupa tentang kamu.
